i'm not sure what i said, but i could suddenly see her withdraw. her eyes flickered for a second with the slightest knowing, then she closed off everything i was beginning to accept. and with that, we no longer defended together our breath against the unwieldy boredom smothering the nights. we had brought swagger to our squalor, flaunted the torn knuckles, bruised knees, blood-shot eyes rolling back with something disgusting and chronic. but now, without her, i could feel my skin stretch against my teeth, my tongue swiping at a body wrung dry, salty, withering. i was shriveling without her, while every other content fuck was engorging themselves on the fat of health and decency.